5+2+2
羊城晚报北京讯 “建议将目前国家9年制义务教育延长为12年,并将普教阶段由12年缩短到9年,即按小学5年、初中2年、高中2年来设置学制。”昨日,刚刚抵京的全国人大代表黄细花告诉记者,她准备提交一份关于修改《义务教育法》的议案。
时间如白驹过隙,一辈子的时间真他妈短。而且作为一个有远大理想的天朝人,庸庸碌碌混70年实在太对不起了。所以许多人一直希望可以在50岁里干完100岁才干完的事情,恨不得7岁精通高数,8岁精通十六门外语,11岁参加高考。看着电视里强大的神童们,嫉妒的心都快撸出来了。
幸好我民族也是一个充满智慧的民族,许多孩子6岁就已经精通各种乐器,各种书法,各种初中高中数学解题方法了。所以让他们在5年内学完6年学的东西应该算不上神马。我小学的时候,脑袋都装着爆旋陀螺、数码宝贝、足球神马。瞧,这一代就这样垮掉了。现在实现5年学制后,把6年的东西5年内灌完你的大脑,用各种语文诗句、数学函数、英语语法把你大脑里各种创造力、想象力……之类的粪便统统先排出去。一个孩子11岁就得面对小升初考试,很好,还差一年到叛逆期,便于管理。
初中读两年就可以结束了。为神马?读三年那是放屁呢,哪间学校初三时还整个学期都上新课的,没有了,都tm用来复习了。那为了不搞应试教育,初三也就可以丢进历史堆填区了。但是,中国劳动人民的智慧是无穷的。他们一定可以在初一一年内读完以前三年的知识,然后在初二从容地复习备考。看,这效率提高了吧。以前的人都是读了两年书才洗的脑,现在一年就搞定了!在13岁你就可以精通编造作文,初等数学……
中考了,毕业了。这一年你才13岁。和初中童鞋们混了两年,关系一般。第二年你开始和一个MM越来越熟……MM还没给你准备好人卡,你就已经和MM到不同的高中读书了。所以,2年高中学制对于杜绝早恋有巨大的好处!各位校领导主任老师多年苦思冥想的问题终于有机会解决了!
高中第一天,老师告诉同学们:在高一我们语文要学完8本书。。数学要学完7本书。。英语……正当你诧异为何要学这么多本书时,老师又说:……然后,高二我们就开始总复习了……在一年内,单是数学你得学完各种三角函数、解析几何、向量、数列、初级高数;至于政治课你得在一年内学完经济政治文化哲学……等等,才学一年?洗脑不够彻底啊!!文化部在怒吼。高中2年你认识了一堆MM,但你正欲暗送秋波时,已经高二了。MM纷纷表示没时间和你那个了。所以,照样又杜绝了早恋。
16岁,你已经过了高考,你自由了。要知道你的前辈们都tm到了18岁才熬完这一段艰苦的人生啊。当然,16岁你又年少气盛,也许能比前辈们提前饱尝禁果,夜夜出没于洗头房、小旅馆乃至夜总会中。大学四年结束,你才20岁。依照当时的房价,奋斗到30岁就可以有车有房,然后再回头找MM。要知道,你的前辈们混到这种水平后已经变成了钻石王老五。
我们这个充满智慧的民族,在16岁就达到了美利坚同龄人不止18岁的水平。当美利坚16岁的童鞋还在遭受网瘾等疾病缠绕、听着某正太和某御姐唱的脑残之歌时,天朝16岁童鞋已经捷足先登,准备向高数、四级英语攻坚了……美利坚人,颤抖吧,伟大的中华民族,终于在教育上实现了超英赶美。
所以,我一定要双手双脚赞同5+2+2学制,这是中华民族的智慧结晶,这是中华民族走向宇宙的起点。
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